How we got here (Prologue - Identity)

5^th March, 2008.

There’s nothing special about today, there never is any more to be honest. The same thing happens each day. I wake up in some hotel room, sometimes I wake up next to Sharon, most days I don’t, and those days are definitely harder. Regardless I go hotel to hotel all in the name of work, in a country I’ve grown tired of. A Country that I’ve made hate me because I’ve never been afraid to open my mouth and tell them exactly how I feel. A country that prides itself of being the land of the free, but all I ever see is a metronome, I’ve become a slave to work. I’ve become something I’ve been preaching against for the last two years. Even when Sharon makes the trip over to spend some time on the road with me, I still feel disconnected. I think she’s starting to notice as well, uncharacteristically though she’s staying quiet about it.

My name is Rob Arnold, and I feel like a fraud.

I awaken once again, alone. This hotel room seems a little more hospitable than some of the previous ones in the last two weeks. Whilst I’m fully aware the XHF is to go down the pan by the end of the month, one would have hoped for a little bit more quality for their staff. I could pay to go elsewhere but why should I waste my hard-earned money? Besides, as much as it pains me to say it, there is such a thing as "company image" and I am indeed the European Champion. I would say people look up to me to set an example but that’s clearly not true.

I look at the alarm clock that wakes me from a dreamless sleep. When things get this monotonous you’d hope that you’d have your dreams to get you away from being awake. Not in my case, anyway. I hit the off button and sit up, fully inspecting the room for the first time in the light of day. I take warm comfort at the European Title sat in the corner neatly as my main sign of familiarity as of late. With a small smile, something that’s become a bit of a commodity to me, I swivel out of bed and towards the bathroom. Approaching the mirror I cannot help but feel like a stranger to myself. My goatee has become a beard, my once longer, shaggy hair is trimmed back to be more presentable, I look…just so different.

Alas, the rest of my body is the same as always, me knee providing me with a familiar discomfort. My back creaks as I stretch to remind me of its tenderness. So I’ll concede a lot is still the same, but a lot feels different.
I step over to the shower and step under it, turning it on in the first place. A sharp cold burst hits my head and shoulders, before the heat kicks in, and warms up. Well at least this one has hot water I suppose.

…Seriously, is this how bad it is? Is this how little direction I have now? I remember the days not so long ago I woke up and only had one thing on my mind: an opponent. Yet, they’re all gone now, I’ve taken out all suitors, and now the XHF is on its last legs, competition is drying up. If that weren’t bad enough, I’m lacking any form of companionship. Leon got let go in the budget cuts, all of the Brotherhood are as good as gone. It’s pretty much just me.

It’s not like the old days. For so many years you could have a friend round every corner, especially in the TXI. Of course there were enemies, but you would never have to face them alone unless you wanted to.

As pathetic as it sounds, maybe I just need a friend? Or maybe I should start letting old ones in? Or maybe I should stop worrying about it and just get on with things, come the end of the month I can do whatever the hell I like again. I’m still young, I still have all the opportunities ahead of me. I could even go back into business; I still have Vortex to go back to whenever I want. I know Alex and myself thought it would be best he bought out half of my share, but the door was left firmly open. Whatever I do, I need to start shaking things up, be happy again. People can love me or hate me, but it’s time I’m happy.

I turn off the shower and grab the towel. These thoughts have to be put to one side, I have to go to work. No matter how much of dead-end this all seems like right now, one very important thing remains. I am still the XHF European Champion, I am still a man who has a job to do, no matter how much stress it appears to be causing.

I just have to remember I am still Rob Arnold



…just.

Ooc: Rob, this is really good. Excellent work.