The scene opens on the studios that CXA have been using for their recent promos. A live web feed has been set up in a sparsely furnished room. In the foreground of the shot we see the instantly recognisable figure of Homer J Cyde, shopping channel favourite and C-movie action star. The tall, blonde Homer is dressed, once again, in one of his own brand of jog bottoms and vest combos, both baring his MMA logo. Homer is getting in a last few bicep curls with a black weight baring the same MMA logo and a picture of Homer’s smiling face.
Compared to the blonde, perm-a-tanned Homer the figure on the background is altogether darker and less well kept. Reggie Cyde is about the same height as his brother but less well built, more rangey. Long, dark hair is tied back and hidden, fro the most part, under a cowboy hat. The latter is pulled forward so we can’t see Reggie’s eyes. A scruffy black t-shirt, faded and ripped jeans, and a pair of cowboy boots finish off the look. While Homer continues to work out, oblivious to the feed now being on, Reggie is slumped in a chair, watching a TV.
“For wherever you hide, wherever you run...Infinity's Gaze is upon you!"
Homer turns around..
“Sweet Mary Lou, Reggie. What have I told you about listening to the Cybersnore’s crap? It rots the brain! If I had a dollar for every whiney, self-indulgent promo of his I’ve been forced to listen to over the years I’d be even richer than I am today!”
“I think it’s funny…”
“Funny? Yeah, well, the Doodling Dandypratt shouldn’t give up his day job and join the heady world of stand-up comedy just yet!”
(A whispered voice, off screen) “Er…Mr Cyde, sir…you’re…er…on!”
Homer whirls around, staring at the direction of the voice. Reggie simply keeps still.
“What in the blue blazes? Son, what I pay you for again?”
(still off screen) “You don’t pay me, sir…I’m an intern…”
“Yeah, well, you’re still getting too much even if you get nothing. I’ll deal with you later…”
Homer turns to face the camera, putting down the weight.
“Greetings one and all! Yes, it’s me, your All American Hero, Homer Cyde. I’d like to take this opportunity to say hello to each and every one of my Homercydal Maniacs…”
Reggie turns, pushing up the hat. It reveals that underneath he is wearing sunglasses.
“Homerwhatnow?”
“Homercydal Maniacs! Hogan has his fans. The Warrior – the gibberish spouting real one, not that faker that we’ve heard from recently – had his. I thought that a hero of my magnitude, with my millions and millions of fans, needed to give them a name. Hell’s teeth, even The Trout Prince has his (adopts silly spooky voice) Children of Midnight!”
“(under his breath) Oh brother…”
Homer turns to his brother.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, nothing…just shooting the breeze to myself. You carry on with your little promo thing…”
Homer, clearly not totally satisfied, turns back to the camera.
“Where was I? Ah, yes. Greeting my Homercydal Maniacs. It’s your hero here, once again. Fresh from the round-the-world success of Even Nanny’s can be Heroes 2: Homer’s War! For those of you who have been living on the moon for the past twenty years, I thought I’d start with a little bit of a history lesson. I’ve held more titles than most people have had hot dinners! I’ve beaten more losers than even I can remember! I’m better than Angle. Better than Benoit ever was. You are looking at the best damn technical wrestler…wait, no…wrestler…no, no…Mixed Martial Artist that has ever thrown a Suplex or fixed in an Arm Bar. Oh, it’s true…it’s damn true!”
Reggie seems to shake his head a little.
“So…as the BEST wrestler walking the planet do I get kudos I deserve? Do I squat! Poxywoxy…Joxstrap…what ever the hell it is you call yourself…WHO THE DIGGLE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I mean, I know you Brits aren’t exactly known for your dazzling good looks – I’m looking at you, Charlie boy! – but, dear sweet holy moley! You’re the ugliest, punk ass, snot nosed, numpty that I’ve ever laid eyes on! They should call you Peroxide…because you smell funny and leave stains everywhere! Tell em, Reggie!”
Reggie looks at the camera, getting to his feet.
“Joxide…when you came out to answer our challenge the way you did you made a couple of powerful enemies. Boy, do you seriously know who you are dealing with? Homer here might look like he knows the inside of a tanning booth more than his does a title match (Homer scowls) but he’s a Cyde. And we know our way around in AND out of the ring. Jox, son, where I’ve been, there is a little thing called respect. People like you have it for people like me or you don’t last very long…They end up all broken like…neck snapped…bones in pieces…”
Homer steps back in front of his brother.
“Yes, well, thank you Reggie. Joxstrap…you want to face us at the reunion show? You’ve got it! So go off and find some other pasty faced, spotty loser with teeth like tombstones and you polish those up reeeeeal nice. Because you’re taking on the Prides of Cydes! Reggie, Homer J! And we’re going to knock those rotten slabs down the back of your throat! Oh, it’s on…it’s damn on!”
Homer turns to look off camera again.
“Now, where were we junior…
Subject: Prides of the Cydes 
Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:18 am