The scene opens on what appears to be the back of a farm house somewhere in the rural united states. Rolling hills can be seen in the background, touched with the vast remnants of snowfall at their peak. In the foreground there are several large barns, all of which look impressively modern and high tech. Clearly this is a large and well ordered farm. As the camera pans around, in front of one of the barns, lounging against the side of large Ford pick-up truck, is none other than Reggie Cyde, and now we realise the place must be the Cyde family farm in Waukesha, Wisconsin.
Reggie looks a little different from the last time we saw him. His hair has been cut short and the natural grey is starting to show through, and he’s sporting a goatee beard of a likewise mottled colour. He still sports the dark glasses to shield his eyes from the bright winter sun, and is decked out in jeans, boots, and a thick wool jacket against the Wisconsin weather.
In the flatbed back of the truck, leaning against the cab, is Reggie’s brother, Homer. Unlike previous appearances when Homer has been keen to shill his merchandise or latest movie, this time he isn’t decked out like walking advertisement. Yes, he’s wearing a Cyde MMA gear hoodie, but its under a jacket, and like his brother, he’s sporting jeans and workboots.
The image is very clear - fun’s over, these are two serious farm boys.
Its Reggie who speaks first. His voice is calm and measured, with slightly more a twang than you’d expect from a Wisconsin boy - a legacy of the many years he spent in the South during his youth, often enjoying the hospitality of the State.
“Well well, it seems our friend Joxide up and managed to find himself a partner at last. Isn’t it amazing what you can achieve through internet dating sites these days. Who woulda thought?
“Orland The Dragon Zacconi, quite the surpise, Joxide, I gotta give you that boy. You played a smart move. Now, I’ll tell you the truth, I’m fairly impressed. I’m not about to sit here and cut you some razzle dazzle wrestling promo running they guy down. Ain’t my style. Zacconi’s a tough boy. Been through a few wars in his time, and I can certainly relate to that and respect it as a consequence. Honestly, I’m glad to see him back, and this whole deal just got a whole lot more interesting from where I sit.
“Now Joxide, you want to come out at your press conference and you want to issue a challenge to make our match no holds barred, anything goes. And what did you expect, that we’d walk away, that we’d be scared somehow simply because you had Zacconi by your side?”
Reggie actually smiles at the suggestion
“Son, you really don’t know us too well, do you? You might notice that I smell of smoke myself from the number of times I’ve been through hell. But you might also notice that I ain’t burned, that’s because The Dragon ain’t the only one who knows how to swing a chair or wrap a beer bottle around someone’s jaw. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt - usually with Department of Corrections written on the back. I been in more bar fights than you’ve had drinks and I was cracking pool cues over people’s heads when you were still leaping onto your bed pretending to be Shawn Michaels.
“As for my brother here, the little comments about grilling machines and movies. Real smart, real smart. But as I recall you weren’t laughing quite so hard when he powerbombed your ass through a table, now were you? And you won’t be laughing so hard at CXA Reunion either. You want no holds barred, you got it”
Reggie goes to walk out of shot, but Homer doesn’t move for a second. Finally, he breaks into a smile and shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know I said I’d let you take this Reggie, but this is too ridiculous for words. I need to ask a few questions. See, my brother, if he’ll forgive me, has been a little too diplomatic here for my tastes, and I think I need to just bring us back to a dose of reality.
“So Poxide, Peroxide, whatever the hell his name is, has gone trawling through his old address book and after he asked everyone else from Brummy Midlandson, to the guy who served him in KFC, to the baggage handler at the airport, to Charlie Sheen, he finally reached the bottom of the barrel and with the sound of scraping he managed to dig up the corpse of the CWA and find some relic to be his tag team partner.
“So I want to ask this dinosaur something. Orland “the Dragon” Zacconi - if that’s your real name - just who the hell are you? You see, you wear a mask. And people who wear masks aren’t to be trusted. Masks are unAmerican. The only people who wear masks are the sort of people who need to hide who they really are. And I want to know why - what have you got to hide Mr Dragon?
“Oh I know there’s some story about your face being destroyed in the CWA, but come on, I’m not buying that. I think I know the truth. Look at the name - Orland Zacconi. Hardly sounds British does it? He claims he’s from Manchester, England. Well, that doesn’t sound very Mancunian to me. Frankly, that sounds foreign, that sounds like someone who maybe shouldn’t even be in the UK. If you ask me, that’s why Zacconi wears a mask - he’s probably an illegal immigrant to the UK looking to hide his identity so that the Home Office doesn’t find him and kick him out of the country. Joxide’s partner is an illegal alien.
“So I want the CXA to look into Zacconi. I want them to check for right to remain and for a work visa, because I’ll bet American dollars he hasn’t got either. And when they find he hasn’t I want him arrested, and Poxide arrested for aiding and betting an illegal alien. People of the UK, I’m not a vindictive man. I come from the USA. Take a look at the Statue of Liberty ‘Bring me your tired and huddled masses’ and all that stuff. But nowhere does it say “And let them wear masks so they can defraud us and claim welfare’. I just want to know the truth - for all of you, my loyal fans.”
With that, the camera fades to black.
Subject: The Cydes respond 
Sat Mar 12, 2011 6:21 am
