Oh, hey Soudouki. Good to see you. Been a while, hasn’t it? Is life treating you well? Still wrestling? Gosh, you really are looking well.
Yeah, I could have said any one of those things and the conversation might have at least started civilly. Of course doing so would be intelligent and in the realm of what an ordinary person might do, so naturally I didn’t and instead opted for an, shall we say, unorthodox manner of greeting the woman in front of me.
“Holy shit what are you doing here?”
Nice one, Chris.
Soudouki stared at me through her beloved makeup and eyeliner. I would have expected anger and bewilderment, but there was actually amusement written all over her face, an expression usually reserved for when she sees elderly people falling over.
“Christopher, look at you,” she greeted me with, that condescending quality to her voice which she was known for, “Back here. In your little hometown. Isn’t that just adorable?”
Right off the bat, I knew what Soudouki I was dealing with. Not the Soudouki who tried to convince herself for years that our relationship was real, no. This is the real Soudouki, the unfiltered, pure self that rubbed everybody who encountered her the wrong way. Perhaps it was best that I eschewed politeness.
“It’s yours as well, Sou - it’s no surprise that either of us are here,” I firmly responded, the tone very much set for this conversation, “That said, why are you in this building?”
She raised her eyebrows and put on a false look of shock, “Christopher, I am appalled. This is how you speak to a person so very special to you? You’d think that all those years spent in each other’s embrace meant nothing!”
“Yeah, you’d think that indeed,” I replied, giving her as serious a glare as I could muster.
This was the last thing I was expecting that day. I had wanted to talk to Soudouki down the line, when I’d become brave enough to do so much as call her, but there she was visiting Dan’s school with no prior announcement. Not only that, but she had thrown me off-guard by being even more direct and true to herself than the last time I’d shared her company. I was able to recover and redeem some of my esteem, but the truth of the matter was that I was still weak. My stomach was churning as if I’d eaten a week-old curry, a harsh reminder of the unresolved issues and lingering emotions.
The date was December 21st, 2010. With the new decade long underway, I had redoubled my efforts in training, and hoped to be going at full pelt by the turn of 2011. David Shand, the man I hoped to face, had just returned from his vanishing act and regained the saddle of his business. It was best to strike when the iron was hot, I had thought, and so planned to lay my challenge down to him soon.
Then this happened. See you later, focus. Nice knowing you, concentration. Soudouki always did have a penchant for ruining my life.
“I have no idea what you’re implying,” Soudouki said sweetly, with about as much innocence to her words as a suspect holding a pair of bloody knives, “I think it should be obvious why I’m at Mr. Kildel’s school.”
“To prove the nonexistence of god? It’s okay, after all our time together I don’t need any more convincing, trust me.”
“No, no, silly,” she smiled, “And it’s not to give the young wrestler boys here a reason to gawk, either.” As she said this, she playfully gestured to the staring adolescents, who quickly turned away in embarrassment. They could’ve wiped the drool off the floor too, but what can you expect from kids?
“I was just popping by the family home,” she continued, referring to the Kobayashi residence, former home to the now-closed ‘Kobayashi Pain Camp’ wrestling school, “While I was there, my older brother mentioned that a certain school was not only still in operation, but had a certain pupil toiling away there. When I heard that, I simply had no choice but to pop down and see for myself.”
“Lovely, well I hope you’ve had a good look, now kindly bugger off back to where you came from,” I brushed her off as best as I could – I was in no frame of mind to talk to her right now.
“Oh, but surely you think my journey was worth more than just seeing you sit there!” she exclaimed, barely suppressing a chuckle, “I was expecting to see you in your garish ring-gear, crawling around on the mat like a confused infant! At least give me that much, Christopher!”
Looking at her new appearance, I didn’t think she was in any position to refer to my attire as ‘garish’. Her hair was shorter now, blue as before, but with vibrant red stripes that one could only attain from the most flamboyant of hairdressers. Her clothing was a lot more revealing than I’d remembered – a strapless navy top that bared her midriff and a new navel piercing, leading down to a skirt so short you could hang the rest of her clothing to try on it, and bright red, heeled boots that lifted her stature to a level more in line with her opinion of herself.
“Actually, tell a lie, I’m not just here to enjoy the sight of you squirming,” she went on, and I still couldn’t believe just how blatant she was being with all of this dressing down; years of no contact with her and now she was being more than just her true self; she’d practically reappeared as a stereotypical evil ex, “I’d heard a few more whispers. About how you’ve so callously replaced me in your heart!”
Oh great. I knew where she was going with this, and I didn’t like it.
“You have no idea how much of a hypocrite you are to say that,” I cut her off before she could do any real damage.
“Ha, perhaps. You know me, though. If it’s inconvenient to me, it needs to be taken care of,” she narrowed her eyes, and what I thought was a simple exaggerated act felt all too real as her pupils strangled me with their sternness. Just what had happened to this girl?
As if on cue, as if fate was dicking around with me yet again, as to affirm my belief that life contracts diarrhoea when I least need it to, Melanie returned from the showers. We were both preparing to leave, and I had been waiting for her to clean up. Now fully-dressed but with fluffed-out, blow-dried hair, she looked completely unaware of the disaster zone she was stepping into.
“Alright, I’m good,” she was saying, barely looking in my direction, “How about we get going, dork...” She interrupted her own sentence as she finally surveyed the scene. Right in front of her, stood next to me, was the person who was singled-handedly to blame for her decision to train to begin with.
Soudouki’s eyes widened and a monstrous grin grew on her face, “Oh, well, if it isn’t my old friend.”
Melanie had nothing to say in response, and instead sprinted across the hall, shoving gormless students aside, hell-bent on taking Soudouki’s head clean off.
It seemed as though Sou hadn’t expected this sort of reception, as her grin melted into an expression of terror in reaction to a taller, well-toned woman tearing in her direction with fury etched all over her face. I had expected this, which was why I was hoping the two wouldn’t meet.
Melanie told me she wouldn’t hurt her when she first saw her, and I had wanted to believe her, but there were issues there that may have extended beyond those shared between myself and Soudouki. I could tell from looking at her whenever Soudouki came up in a conversation. The intense hatred burned in her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to disguise it.
There was only one thing I could do at this time. I didn’t like it, but it had to be done.
Well, that’s what I’d told myself anyway.
I stood between them, and was struck with an inadvertent kick to the face from Melanie because of it. Sparks flew across my eyes and I could have sworn I heard a crunch, but I held fast to keep a distance between the two.
If Melanie was sorry, she was having a hard time showing it; but I suppose considering the situation it was only natural, “What the fuck are you doing, Chris? Let me kick some sense into this shallow little shit!”
Soudouki’s shock had subsided, but instead of anger she re-adopted that smarmy look from before, “Oh, aren’t you just a knight in shining armour, Christopher. I guess there’s still a place for me in your heart after all!”
“Sod off,” I bluntly told her, my mood not helped by getting kicked and turned my attention to Melanie, “Mel, you know I can’t let you do that. You promised, after all.”
“I did so such thing,” she practically hissed at me, and I suppose she was technically right, “I’ll make my challenge after I’ve rearranged her face.”
“What’s that?” Soudouki butted in, her voicing cooing with curiosity, “I wasn’t aware I was such a popular subject for you two. What a healthy relationship you must have.”
Melanie forcefully shoved me aside, apparently well and truly sick of the sound of Soudouki’s voice, and when I’d recovered from hitting the wall shoulder-first, I saw something I wasn’t expecting.
Soudouki had Melanie down on the ground, twisting her arm at a horrifying angle. Mel was grunting in pain, and the expression of Soudouki was haunting.
“Oh, I remember you, Mel,” the words slowly oozed out of Soudouki as she delighted in restraining her foe, a new, deeper voice that I had never heard before escaping from her mouth, “You always wanted to put me in my place. You thought I didn’t deserve to have all the benefits I had in life. You thought Soudouki was a worthless piece of garbage who breezed by on that which I inherited, didn’t you? Not only that, but you were so fucking envious of me.”
“Get... off... you filthy slag...” Melanie tried to order her, agonised though her words were, before letting out a shriek as Soudouki yanked on her arm even more.
“Soudouki, let her go,” I demanded sternly, moving in closer even as my shoulder and face raced to see which one could swell faster.
“Not another step, Reto, or I separate her arm from its socket,” she snapped, and I stayed in place. When she was satisfied, she let the words descend upon Melanie again like the bile that it was.
“You were such a stupid child, Melanie. You never had a chance back then, and no matter how hard you train now, you never will. You cannot hurt me. You cannot change me. If you try, all that will result in is me making you beg for your pathetic excuse for a life.”
“Fuck... off...” was Melanie’s less-than-witty response, but given her situation it was understandable, and again she was rewarded with a yank of her limb.
“It’s not worth the effort anyway, regardless of your reasons,” Soudouki went on, her voice almost shaking with pleasure, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to shove her away, “Especially not for this nobody,” she said with a deep, throaty laugh, turning her gaze towards me, “The only reason I’m even here when there are so many more important engagements I could be attending is to make matters perfectly clear to you. I mean, you are an old friend, after all.”
It was at moment I felt that creeping feeling returning, looking to swallow me whole. I thought I had seen the true Soudouki, and maybe I had – back then. But in all these years, it was as though she had changed for the worse; transformed into something far more hideous under the surface. It was what we were getting a glimpse of now, and it made me feel so uncomfortable I could barely handle it.
“Christopher is not worth it. I know he’s not the only reason you want to fight me, but understand nonetheless that you do not want to waste any further time accommodating this selfish creature.”
“Selfish...? Like you’re one... to talk...” Melanie tried to squeeze out, and Soudouki simply laughed right in her face.
“I won’t deny what I am. I live for myself. It’s what I was born to do. Trying to convince myself otherwise is denying reality itself,” Soudouki admitted, and pulled up Melanie’s head with her free hand to direct it towards me, “Maybe that’s why he and I had such a good time together, and trust me, we had a very good time together, darling. We’re very much the same. Some people live to contribute to the world, to give back to those around them. Christopher and I were never that way, try as we might to delude ourselves about this fact.”
“Soudouki...” I tried to reason with her, futilely. She cut me off as quickly as she could.
“He’s doing it now, you can tell. It’s pretty fucking sad. He should know that one’s true self cannot be hidden for long. The real Christopher Reto, just like the real Soudouki Kobayashi, cares only for number one. If the actions of a person make them, then he is a putrid ball of selfishness. He really needs to embrace it like I did! Otherwise he’ll continue to be miserable!”
She narrowed her eyes again, “Just like how miserable you became when we were an item, eh Chris?”
“Look, just let her go and let’s discuss this like adults...” I tried again. I failed again.
“Oh, I think we can conduct this discussion just fine like this, don’t you think, Mel?” she asked, yanking her neck and arm back forcefully. Melanie let out a pained squeal and this is killing me.
“Okay, here’s the big one,” Soudouki continued, “Are you ready for it? I’m going to explain to you exactly why Christopher isn’t worth your effort; why you should give up this silly quest to try to ‘make things right’. Why Christopher here became so unsatisfied with me and the good times came to an end. He thinks I don’t know this, but oh, I certainly do...”
My face turned white. I couldn’t believe it. She had to know what I planned on revealing to her. This was unbelievable, and I could not stop the words from spilling from her mouth.
“The only reason you ever got with me to begin with is because you were so in love with Teresa,” Soudouki let the whole wrestling school know, and it might as well have been the whole world, “My sister. You had such a perverse fucking lust for her that you only chased after me because of the family resemblance. Selfish to the very core, that’s you. Never cared about me for one goddamned second.”
And then it was out. I didn’t want Melanie to know this. She was apparently now oblivious to the pain that Soudouki was putting her through, as her pupils shrank to dots and her mouth simply gaped open in shock. It took her a full minute before she said anything.
“Chris... is that...”
I shifted in place, unwilling to comment on the matter, but the look on my face told the whole story.
Soudouki beamed, her plan having worked out exactly the way she envisioned it. She confidently released Melanie from her grip, rolling to the side just in case, and watched from a distance.
Melanie got to her feet, and just started walking to the exit. She breezed past me without looking at me. I could hear her mumbling one thing as she went past.
“Fucking knew it.”
I turned, but she was gone out of the door. I tried to catch up with her, but I she seemed to have completely vanished. Even outside, there was no sign of her.
Soudouki always did have a penchant for ruining my life.
And as I thought of her, she appeared. She walked up behind me and I could practically feel the smugness.
“Consider it an early gift for new year’s,” she declared triumphantly, “Somebody like you needs to be alone, after all.”
I had time to think about my actions that night in the police cell, after being arrested for punching her in the face.
Subject: The Reason 
Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:30 pm
